Hi

Here we/I go again.
My name is Cathy married with 3 children, living in the Highlands, on the road to weight loss once again. I have no motivation , not even a holiday in Turkey with my size 8 friend is making the weight come off any easily.
I am a stay at home mum, who makes soap as a hobby though it has turned into a bit more than that.
I have also just enrolled on a home learning nail technician course. I have finished and sent in my first module, I think I did it really well, but I'm a bit worried , in case the 15 years of not studying show :/.
so dieting yes. I had my first son at 25, my sister got married 21 months later and I had lost all the weight I had gained in my pregnancy and a bit extra.It wasnt too hard though as I mainly walked and cycled a lot, plus I worked and only took fruit to work with me to have for lunch. It was the last 20 lbs that were stubborn and I went to a diet club and did my aerobics dvd religiously, and it came off over the winter.

Then I had my 2nd son, and things were a bit more difficult loosing weight wise, I had more to do, couldnt really walk as far as I had a 4 yr old who would rather read than go walking, then when he went to school, I couldnt really go anywhere, he came back at 12.30pm and was too tired after school.
I managed to stick around 11ish stone, then I became pregnant again, by 29 weeks I had gained a stone which was fine, I was pleased.
Unfortunately we lost the baby, a little girl, whom we named Catherine.
I ddnt care about the weight, all wanted was to be pregnant and have my baby in my arms, I knew it wouldnt be her, but it felt like the wrong ending to a perfect story, and I knew I could put it right.
So I got pregnant 4 months later and had a beautiful baby girl whom we named Emma, unfortunatley I also gained another 2 stone on top of the one I hadnt lost after my 3rd pregnancy, plus the one I havent shifted since I had Sandy, makes 4 :(

So 200lbs, (i think I am 196 just now but 200 for rounding off purposes) I weigh, I need to loose about 55lbs it total.

I have a goal to focus on which is 185lbs. I dont care when I get to it, but I will. Starting today. I am just about to go and do my aerobics dvd first time in years wish me luck. I also have been running on and off, and started out not being able to run more than one minute, and today I got to 3 minutes and 15 seconds or maybe 10 seconds cant remember anyway it was more than usual, so I was very proud.
I am trying to eat, low fat/ low carb, see how I go, I wont cave in for a few days, but when I get the usual cravings, I will try and last it out, but if I cant and I know I will fall, I will have a biscuit or maybe even 4 but I'm not beating myself up anymore. I am nearly 42, I'm an actual grown up :/